Kitna had bad game but not to blame for loss to Pack

Yes I am a Lions slappy. I have always looked at this underachieving squad with a glass half full attitude and like many cornbread eaters, felt good about the 2008 Lions after a productive and healthy preseason. Gone were the cancers that plagued this team in the past. We now have Rod’s players! And let me put it on the record, I like Rod. I like what he says and I like what he instills in practice but for god sakes can you please, please carry this over to the field where it counts.

But that is not my beef in this blog, on the local radio airwaves today everyone is destroying Jon Kitna and comparing him to the worst of the worst in Detroit QB lore (and that is saying something). Having been to the 7 interception game of Ty Detmer in Cleveland, this is not quite the worst effort! Now that is not to say Jon did not have a bad last 5 minutes, he absolutely did, no question about it and I am sure he would admit it (if he already hasn’t). But Jon is not the reason the Lions lost this game or are 0-2 it lies squarely on the pathetic defense and the dearth of playmakers. Sims is a player no doubt but pickin’s are slim after that (with an occasional brilliant play by White or Redding). I have never, ever seen a team get beat deep so easily. I thought the idea of the Tampa 2 (sick of that name) defense was to prevent big plays – but they give up more then any Lion team I have ever seen, ever!!! You don’t see other games where receivers are 10 yards behind defenders that never happens. We have great receivers and they are never 10 yards behind opposing defenders, doesn’t happen in the NFL – except here.

Anyway, I put this loss and the Atlanta one too, squarely on Joe Barry’s shoulders. He is the Defensive Coordinator and there is no coordination in the defense at all. In the NFL where parity is everywhere, it is impossible to fall behind 21-0 in the first half, it doesn’t happen, look around the league. You have to try hard to play defense that poorly. This automatically takes Kevin Smith and Rudi Johnson and renders them largely useless and makes the Lions once again 1 dimensional. I for one would love to see what these two can do, we may never get a chance. Both Calvin and Roy are freak’s of nature and hence I don’t mind seeing the Lions throw the ball, but you have to have balance or you have corners sitting on receivers and defensive lineman pinning their ears back. Any offensive line is going to look poor and any quarterback is going to look bad eventually if they know exactly what you are going to do – unless your defensive coordinator is Joe Barry of course.

Atlanta for example - the players said they knew they were going to run the ball, and run the ball they did! Where were 8 or 9 in the box like other teams would do. Commit to stopping the run and if you lose the game to a rookie QB who beats you passing then tip your hat and move on. Yesterday’s Packer game they committed to stopping the run and did a nice job of that but a novel thought on the pass – mix in a blitz once in a while. This was Rogers first road start and in case you did not hear, Ford Field was quite loud but for some reason, they treated him with kid gloves. Blitz him for gods sakes!!!! Your linebackers can’t cover anybody anyway so they might as well do something useful like put pressure on the QB. The cornerback’s and safeties get fried all of the time so what is the difference, at least this way you dictate the way the game is going to be played. Turnovers happen because of pressure. Look around the league at the good defenses and good defensive coordinators. Other then the Giants front four who put constant pressure, they all blitz heavily. The Lions, they sit back in that bend but don’t break (although they snap all of the time) defense and pray they can hold the team to a FG, which doesn’t happen and in the meantime the other team has chewed 7 minutes off the clock.

So back to the game. Jon hits Calvin on a brilliant touchdown (Calvin is an unstoppable gazelle) to put the Lions up by one – the first lead of the year for the Lions. The building is going berserk. All of the momentum is with the Lions. Penalty on the kickoff backs GB up to the 10 and you can’t even hear yourself think or talk to the person next to you, and what does the defense do with all this mo and loudness, they allow Jennings to catch a 5 yard pass and run 60 yards down the field – game over, good night now!!!!! Sure blame Jon for his interceptions (and the first one frankly was the worst) but the game ended on that play because it sucked the life out of the Lions and the stadium – the Lions defense gave up the ghost at the most crucial time choking the life out of the team. Season over, good night Lions, we’ll see you in 2009 hopefully with a new defensive coordinator who has heard of a blitz!

Pushers and Cloggers

Now I will admit I was quite sucky at Science at school. I loved math - not so much with science. But as I am middle aged now and have a good track record on this subject, I would love to discuss eating, anatomy (sorta) and pooping. Many of my skinny friends (or those trying to be) decide that shubbery is a good meal for reducing girth, and I suppose it is but it comes at a cost - it is entirely a pusher. Eat salad all day and you have nothing in there to stop you from partaking in number 2 all day long. There are no cloggers in salad, nothing to clog you up. Sure you can put some cheese in salad but it stands no chance against all those pushers. Accordingly, all good, well balanced meals should be a mixture of pushers and cloggers.

So what pretell are pushers v cloggers? Some are easy. Meat - pusher (ever eat at Taco Hell or White Castle - you pretty much need to eat those in the bathroom). Bread - clogger. The aforementioned salad - pusher. Cheese - clogger. There are some foods that are tough to tell but give them a try and see how they work for ya. If you need to take a plunger to your butt you know it was a adequate clogger.

So what is the perfect food?? Experts might say that McDonalds is bad for you but let's take a gander at the Sausage McMuffin with egg. It is the perfect mixture of pushers and cloggers. Eggs and sausage - pushers. Eat them alone and it will be a double flush for sure but alas McDonalds knew that and hence chucked in some cloggers. Cheese and english muffins. Well done McDonalds. They failed on the Big Mac but not from a lack of effort. I am sure when they were making this fine sandwich that after they got the 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, they were like crap (some pun intended) we need to get some cloggers in there so they added two slices of cheese and three buns - three. They were clearly trying but they surely realized their dilemma - it's still pushin. It's still pushin and we really can't add any more buns or people won't be able to shove this lovely into their pieholes. So they went with it. Clearly a good sandwich but bereft of the proper mixture of pushers and cloggers.

So to all my rabbit friends who gnaw on shrubbery all day, have fun with your stool explosions while I sit in comfort in my lazy seat chowing on my well balanced steak (pusher) and mashed potatoes (clogger). Awww it is nice to be so well balanced - give it a try (oh by the way, you might notice a slight to vast augmentation in your girth which is a side effect to a well balanced meal of pushers and cloggers but you can always get a few extra pawl bearers in the future so enjoy).

Christmas in July – Ridiculous

Am I the only person who is absolutely annoyed with the marketing campaign Christmas in July. I turned on the TV this morning and there was a the car salesman dress in a Santa suit standing in front of a Christmas tree raving about his special car he was peddling and how the savings would be like “Christmas in July”. Really!! OK not taking the religious side of Christmas (which of course is the whole reason for the holiday to start with) my Christmas season in Michigan is not typically enjoyed in a bathing suit and flip flops. My winter holiday is coupled with boots, hot chocolate, and snow. As the add continued onward, there was Christmas Music playing in the background. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Who in the hell came up with this marketing campaign. Not much boils my large butt more that this ridiculous marketing campaign. Like fingernails on the chalkboard. I am not sure why it bothers me so much but it does and I find myself swearing at the TV every time I hear such absurdities. And why not June or August? July already has a rather important holiday but both June and August are bereft of any major holidays (yes I know there is Father’s Day but we won’t count that).

The darn fool finished the commercial with a “Ho,Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas (pause) in July.” Freak!!!!!!! Don’t you know how idiotic you look and sound. I do and hence I will never show up to your car dealership and give you a dime of my hard earned money because you will obviously waste the profits on brainless marketing campaigns. So take down your darn Christmas stuff and put that gigantic, balloon filled ape, on the top of your building (which is equally as stupid by the way). Who the heck says, ”Oh my gosh it’s an ape let’s stop and purchase a car.” If someone is that dim-witted they probably shouldn’t be driving anyway – but that is my opinion (and a future blog) and I could be wrong, but I’m not.

Men versus Women – Holy Cow are we Different

I know they have made games on the subject and songs about opposites attract, but as my wife hosted a jewelry party the other day at my domicile, it reiterated the vast differences between the sexes. Our jewelry party was well attended by female pals of my wife feeling obligated to buy crap they really don’t need and didn’t intend to buy. Two weeks prior, they got the invitation in the mail and assuredly cursed my wife’s name followed by a comment like “crap, now I have to go to another one of those stupid parties and buy something I don’t want because she is my friend.” Of course the invitation says “just come, your presence is all that matters, you don’t have to purchase anything, blah, blah, blah.” Of course everyone knows better, if you don’t purchase anything you feel like a schlep and once you leave, everyone will be talking about you, so you buy crap you don’t want. NEVER, EVER heard of such a party for the guys!!!! Male gatherings involve beer and sports. Very simple and absolutely no obligation ever to buy anything. Can you imagine a guy hosting a Tupperware party? Hey Steve come on over, we are going to have some pops, snacks, and look at some Tupperware, no obligation to buy. Don’t think so!! At Christmas, my wife hosted a church fellowship party at our pad. After the obligatory gift exchange, the ladies gathered in a circle, held hands, and sang Christmas carols. HUH!!! Don’t see a gaggle of dudes doing anything like that, ever, no matter how many beverages we have consumed. I can see the invitation now. Tom come on over for a night of mirth and merriment. We will have some adult beverages, watch the football game and then maybe huddle in a circle and sing carols. Bet I would get a lot of takers for that.

Then the next day at work, more proof. One of my female co-workers decided to trade clothes with one of my other female co-workers. What would possess one to do that. I asked one of my male cohorts if he minded if I borrowed his pants for tomorrow at work. Surprisingly, he was not overly excited about lending his garb. This is not something that would even enter a guys mind.

My wife has said that this is because nothing ever enters our minds. True I am a much simpler person then my wife, but when things don’t make sense, I call it as it is. Having a party that obligates your friends to annex goods that would prefer not to have, makes no sense. Trading clothes, no sense. This of course is just a few simple examples of how the sexes are so different but I suppose that is why we get along so well together – opposite’s do attract, and holy cow are we opposite!!

5 Reasons Brett Favre Needs to Stay Retired (and if not please come here)

The fans of the NFL, and certainly Green Bay, have heard this story before. He is retired, he is not retired, he is retired again. I am surprised John Madden has not died of a heart attack with all this flip flopping – can’t be good on the old man’s ticker. I have read numerous other blogs coming down on both sides of the ledger. Some support Favre for the icon in Wisconsin and Green Bay that he is. Brett is the Green Bay Packers and if he wants to come back they should part the seas and let him come. Others come down on the side of Green Bay management who gave Brett every opportunity to come back prior to the NFL draft and he still he orated that he was retired and hence the Packers drafted two quarterbacks in case their quarterback of the future, Aaron Rogers, is not that good. The Packer’s brass is in a no win situation. They are assuredly a better team right now with gramps in at quarterback (remember they were one field goal away from advancing to the Super Bowl), however, another lost season for Aaron Rogers and Green Bay may never see if this guy truly has any talent. That said, here are my five reasons for Brett to stay retired.

1) Able to stay at home and collect social security and get discounts at the movies.
2) You are going to have a terrible year anyway as you are on the cover of Madden 2009.
3) My team, Detroit, may finally have a chance to win a game in Wisconsin (probably will still lose because they blow but it is a sure loss if Favre is playing - 0-18 I think is the Lions record in Wisconsin games since Favre has taken over).
4) Kitna needs to remain the best quarterback in NFC Central. The Lions don’t seem to have too many positive things going right now and it would be nice to be the leader in something positive. And before this gets disputed, Rogers is not going to be good yet. Jackson from Minnesota blows and who the heck knows who is starting in Chicago so Kitna wins by default , but wins just the same!
5) Sick of the yahoo behind me at Ford Field yelling “Favre don’t you know how to pronounce your name”, and “Favre sucks”. Yes I know this is a selfish reason but darnit it, this clown is annoying. Plus we are in the upper deck so Brett cannot hear his utterances anyway.

So Brett, can you please, please, please stay retired and give our long suffering Lions fans a chance to actually win the division (yes I am not a dufis, I realize it will take a lot more than that, but we have to start somewhere). That said, if the competitive juices are flowing such that you really feel the need to play another season, could you see to it that you end up in a Lions uniform? You could really stick it to your old team that way! I am sure our kicker, Jason Hanson (who is our best player by the way), would be willing to give up his #4 jersey to make this happen.

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Ugly People

I was just presented with that awkward moment the other day when I was at the mall and saw a friend from a previous job who was walking their newborn in a stroller. As I had not seen her in a few years we were somewhat excited to see each other but I was also dreading it too. A couple of weeks back, I had received a correspondence from my friend which was coupled with a picture of what I believe was their baby son. To say he is not an attractive child is quite the understatement but now I was faced with Quasimodo in person. I wasn’t sure if staring directly at him would turn me to stone but I didn’t know how to avoid it and pulling out a mirror would have been awkward so I ventured forth. As incipiently forecasted, he is an ugly child for sure. Yes I know that is rude, insensitive, judgmental, shallow, and absolutely not this young newborns fault but you have to call it like you see it. Of course, I commented to her that her son was an adorable child just like the rest of her litter.

The fault here lies with the parents. They have had four other kids (three boys and one girl) and they are all scary beyond all reason too. The parents are exceedingly unattractive also so it stands to reason (and has been proven out over 5 kids) that their offshoots will, in kind, be unsightly. And then when these kids grow up, they will spawn ugly kids, and the cycle will continue. Therefore, the simple and only plausible solution is for these people to quit having kids! Why are all the unattractive people of the world procreating at a faster rate then the attractive ones? Can’t we as a society establish a law prohibiting excessive ugly people from procreating? We are forced to protect ourselves from ourselves with such laws as seat belt laws, helmet laws, excessive taxes and restrictions on smokers (all of which I agree with by the way) so this seems like a plausible thing for us to mandate since the parents obviously can’t seem to realize the error of their ways! I did, two homely kids later and I knew it was time to quit, why can’t others! Come on people do your part, all kids are not beautiful. Bringing them into this world is a beautiful and amazing thing but remember that they do grow up and thus do them, and society, a favor and “Just Say No”.

Garage Sales – Why Does Anyone Want My Junk?

I know there are people who get excited about having or visiting garage sales. The host inevitably thinks they are going to make an abundance of money peddling things that are no longer wanted in their domicile. Those annexing these discarded treasures mirthfully run from garage sale to garage sale trying to find a steal (what a great way to spend a weekend day).

The host inevitably feels that the value of their personal trumpery is worth more than should be posted on the price tag – ‘well it cost me $25 three years ago so it has to be worth $10 now”. Whereas the garage sale patron will barter and haggle and lose a deal over a quarter. Shouldn’t you feel like a dufis if something is marked at a quarter and you feel the need to haggle it for a dime – it’s a quarter for crying out loud, just pay it!!!!!

The host of the garage sale are stalkers and prognosticators, they remind me of a furniture salesman. The moment a car drives up, they are eyeing them and internally placing odds as to whether they are going to purchase anything. Old car, no teeth this patron is not going to yield anything, let the kids stalk them. As the purchaser, if you are going to take the time to waddle out of the car, you have to buy something, that should be a rule. Drop a quarter on the kids peddling a doll if you need to but you have to buy something otherwise don’t bedevil the hosts by getting out of the car. Failure to purchase something will assuredly cause ridicule from the seller once you have sauntered back to your vehicle.

At the end of the garage sale, the seller is always befuddled about the items that didn’t sell. “I can’t believe that no one bought this shirt.” They are almost hurt and offended that someone didn’t want their junk when of course the seller no longer wanted this refuse either, that is why it was for sale to start with! Of course for a purchaser why aren’t you buying this nicer stuff anyway?? I know the saying “some people’s trash is other people’s treasures” but if you are not even purchasing the nicer stuff at a garage sale and instead are looking at the items for a dollar or less, chances are pretty darn fine that you too are getting just that, OPT (other peoples trash) – so Opt for the nicer things at a garage sale, you are still getting a great bargain for sure!

If you haven’t noticed, I am not a big fan of Garage Sales. Personally, I always feel as though I am begging for money by having them. In reality, my least favorite part of the whole event is when it is all done and you still have a ton of drivel sitting in your garage and now have to take it back in the house and save for the next garage sale (where, of course, it will not sell because it is garbage). Worse yet, you have already filled the space of the item you are bringing back in with something else so now you have no room for this debris. This year I vow to not bringing anything back in, it all goes to Purple Heart, I am going to break this annual cycle of a garage sale once and for all!

Why Are There So Many Foreclosures in My Neighborhood? - 7 Simple Reasons, No Good Solutions

As someone who is involved in the Banking industry, and someone who has seen and made loans that have not always performed as agreed, people have asked for my opinion on what ales the nationwide real estate market and whether it has hit rock bottom. The latter question is easy to tackle and that is no, absolutely not! Not trying to be an alarmist but a realist. Things will get worse, and in some states much worse, before they get better. I live in Michigan so I will factor my reasons for the significant rise in foreclosures and delinquencies to local factors which will be applicable to many states. For a while, Michigan led the nation in foreclosure rates. We have since been passed by Florida, California, and Arizona for the dubious award of having the most foreclosures. So what has caused it, here are a few reasons:

1) Unrealistic loan products – Because borrowers historically never let their homes go into foreclosure, Bank’s significantly relented on the underwriting standards with larger institutions offering loan products up to 120% of the home value in a loan, stated income products, requiring interest only payments, ARMS with escalating rates, etc. If you had a pulse, you got a mortgage. I personally have good credit and could have qualified for any mortgage product I wanted two years ago by stating my income on an application at whatever I needed for approval. Why was there ever a product which did not require me to support my income with pay stubs or bank statements? Why was there ever a product made where you didn’t have to put some money into the deal. When I bought a house I had to have 20% in. Why were the Bank’s and Mortgage companies taking on all of the risk? The idea of a loan is to be a partner but the homebuyers had no skin in the game. They had no equity so it did not hurt to walk away. Not everyone deserves a home, that is why they have apartments.

2) Overnight Mortgage Companies – Because the profits were so huge for years, mortgage companies were springing up over night and mortgage hacks were born. People that did not understand mortgages were now underwriting them, bundling them off, and selling them for nice profits to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. These companies have since folded up tent and have probably moved on to the collection / foreclosure business.

3) Commissioned Lenders / Underwriters – While the theory of a commissioned lender makes perfect sense, you only get paid for mortgages that get funded, that causes desperate or greedy people to do untoward activities. This causes a “Used Car Salesman” mentality of selling the mortgage at all cost. Never mind what is best for the borrower/purchaser or for the lending institution, sell the mortgage, make your cut, and move on. Many institutions paid bogies to underwriters based upon loans closed too. This is problematic as it takes the checks and balances out of the process and could easily allow information to be hidden or altered.

4) Fraud – This is fraud at all levels through the process.
a) Application fraud such as falsifying the information on the application (overstating income or assets), or making up fake tax returns (which is simple to do now days with all of these tax programs).
b) Underwriting Fraud – explained in #3 above. Commissioned lenders / underwriters cutting corners to get deals done and hence earn a commission.
c) Appraisal Fraud – appraisers stretching values to make sure that the home values come in where it needs to in order to make a deal happen. Why would they do this? Because if the values are consistently too low, a lending institution would not use this appraisal firm anymore but rather would go up the street to an appraiser who would give the values needed.
d) Credit Fraud – There are firms that you can find on the internet or in the phonebook who are established to fix or scrub credit (for a cost). Thus a Borrower who had bad credit yesterday could have good credit today and hence qualify for a loan that they otherwise might not.

5) Loss of Jobs / Downsizing – This is a huge culprit in Michigan who’s economy is staked to the once big three automotive firms. People who are use to making six figure incomes and who based their home buying on said income are in peril with a reduction of hours or losses of jobs altogether.

6) Increase cost of everything – Gas, groceries, clothing. Everything has gone up significantly in cost without a commiserate increase in earnings. Accordingly, people’s disposable cash flow is weakened and getting weaker.

7) Loss of Negative Stigmatism Associated with Bankruptcy / Foreclosure – There once was a time when having poor credit, filing bankruptcy, or losing your home to foreclosure was almost like walking around with a scarlet “A” on your chest. It use to be very hard to get credit again after these negative events. Nowadays that is clearly not the case.

Certainly there are many other factors that have led to the demise of the home mortgage industry – this is just a few that I usually point to. I am also asked if there is a good avenue to find out about foreclosed houses in your market to find some great deals for purchase. The best options are to call your local banks and mortgage companies and ask for the ORE (Other Real Estate) Department or I have used the attached site which is a wonderful reference of properties for sale in the market (https://paydotcom.com/r/12161/dvowler/19170267/).

The only way for the real estate market to head back in the right direction is for houses to start selling and while these will be at a discounted price, at least assets will be moving. This will eventually cause there to be less houses for sale on the market and as that happens eventually the house values will start to inch back up in value (supply and demand). Not going to happen overnight unfortunately.

Kevin Jones is Ready to Roll (and run)

Give him the ball and a very nice contract. For 2/3 of the team's in the NFL, Kevin Jones, former Detroit Lions runningback and first round draft choice from Virginia Tech, would be the starting tailback. Today in a suburb of Detroit he had an open audition to show his wares and he did shine. He cut and dashed and proved to anyone who needed to know that he is well ahead of schedule on his recovery from his December knee surgery. My eyes witnessed an athlete with no restrictions or limitations on what he could do. If training camp were to start to day, he would be ready to go. As I intonated in an antecedent blog, the Lions have made a big mistake giving up on KJ too early but their dufis mistake will be a great steal for another team. I am sure the video of his workout will be out on YouTube so check it out. Good luck KJ.

LIST OF 12 PEOPLE THAT WE ALL HATE

In today’s society, I think we will all admit that our congeniality towards our fellow human is often not where it should be. Too often there is road rage or shouting and arguing towards our fellow Earth mates. However, with that said, here is a list of the top 12 people we all hate. If you know or see one of these people, slap them very hard immediately. If you are one of these people, stop it all already for crying out loud, you are a butthead.


1) Drive up to front of long line and then cut you off guy – Why is your time more important than mine. Get your butt in line like everyone else. It should be legal for every car that was previously waiting to take a turn and smash this dude!

2) Cell phone in a movie guy – Let’s see, they tell you before the movie starts, you have been to the movies before, what part of turn your cell phone off don’t you understand. If you are that stupid, please just stay at home and rent a movie where you can be on the cell phone all movie long if you like.

3) Guy with more items at the cash register then the “6 items max” – Moron it is not around 6, it is 6 items MAX. 12 is not close enough. I wish just once the cashier would say “excuse me dufis but what six items here are you getting.”

4) Guy who takes your parking lot space after you have been sitting there with the turn signal on for 5 minutes – Dude, I know you saw my signal and you know this is my spot, get out of that car and you will be keyed for sure.

5) Guy who whistles or hums as they walk – While nice that you are in such a gleeful mood, keep your sounds inside of you. Unless you coach sports or are a little girl, there is no reason to whistle or hum!

6) Guy who chews with their mouth open while eating – Shut your trapper when eating. I saw what you were eating before you chucked it in your mouth, I don’t have to see you try to digest it. Scratching on a chalk board sounds better than someone who smacks when they eat!

7) Guy who licks their fingers to the bone while eating – I don’t want to hear you slurping your B’Bque ribs over your grubby fingers. Last I checked we were a civilized society. Use a napkin like everyone around you, you freak.

8) Fat guy who takes up more then one seat on an airplane but won’t buy two – I would prefer not to sit on your lap thank you and if I am going to, I darn well better be paid for a lap dance. Either mix in a salad every one in a while or buy two seats, your call.

9) Guy that shouts obscenities from the upper deck at a sports stadium – Um the players can’t hear you. In fact the only people that can hear you sit right by you and we all think you are an a..hole.

10) Grocery cart guy who is too lazy to walk the 20 feet to a cart stall – Instead this lazy butt perches the cart on the nearest curb and drives away quickly so the cart won’t hit their car but rather the next one that arrives - lazy, inconsiderate terd.

11) Guy at Fast Food restaurant taking order for their whole office - And of course this is the most complicated order possible. Hold the ketchup, no lettuce, this one toasted. It is fast food for a reason. When you are behind one guy in line you expect it to move quickly. Tell your lazy friends to come join you for lunch or call ahead.

12) Motorcycle guy who drives down the middle of the white line between cars - Wouldn’t it be great if someone would thrust with all might their door open with perfect timing as to send the motorcyclist flying. Of course some how in our soft society, the car driver would get sued but boy would that be fun to watch!