BIVO Blogger

Kitna had bad game but not to blame for loss to Pack

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:44:00 +0000

Yes I am a Lions slappy. I have always looked at this underachieving squad with a glass half full attitude and like many cornbread eaters, felt good about the 2008 Lions after a productive and healthy preseason. Gone were the cancers that plagued this team in the past. We now have Rod’s players! And let me put it on the record, I like Rod. I like what he says and I like what he instills in practice but for god sakes can you please, please carry this over to the field where it counts.

But that is not my beef in this blog, on the local radio airwaves today everyone is destroying Jon Kitna and comparing him to the worst of the worst in Detroit QB lore (and that is saying something). Having been to the 7 interception game of Ty Detmer in Cleveland, this is not quite the worst effort! Now that is not to say Jon did not have a bad last 5 minutes, he absolutely did, no question about it and I am sure he would admit it (if he already hasn’t). But Jon is not the reason the Lions lost this game or are 0-2 it lies squarely on the pathetic defense and the dearth of playmakers. Sims is a player no doubt but pickin’s are slim after that (with an occasional brilliant play by White or Redding). I have never, ever seen a team get beat deep so easily. I thought the idea of the Tampa 2 (sick of that name) defense was to prevent big plays – but they give up more then any Lion team I have ever seen, ever!!! You don’t see other games where receivers are 10 yards behind defenders that never happens. We have great receivers and they are never 10 yards behind opposing defenders, doesn’t happen in the NFL – except here.

Anyway, I put this loss and the Atlanta one too, squarely on Joe Barry’s shoulders. He is the Defensive Coordinator and there is no coordination in the defense at all. In the NFL where parity is everywhere, it is impossible to fall behind 21-0 in the first half, it doesn’t happen, look around the league. You have to try hard to play defense that poorly. This automatically takes Kevin Smith and Rudi Johnson and renders them largely useless and makes the Lions once again 1 dimensional. I for one would love to see what these two can do, we may never get a chance. Both Calvin and Roy are freak’s of nature and hence I don’t mind seeing the Lions throw the ball, but you have to have balance or you have corners sitting on receivers and defensive lineman pinning their ears back. Any offensive line is going to look poor and any quarterback is going to look bad eventually if they know exactly what you are going to do – unless your defensive coordinator is Joe Barry of course.

Atlanta for example - the players said they knew they were going to run the ball, and run the ball they did! Where were 8 or 9 in the box like other teams would do. Commit to stopping the run and if you lose the game to a rookie QB who beats you passing then tip your hat and move on. Yesterday’s Packer game they committed to stopping the run and did a nice job of that but a novel thought on the pass – mix in a blitz once in a while. This was Rogers first road start and in case you did not hear, Ford Field was quite loud but for some reason, they treated him with kid gloves. Blitz him for gods sakes!!!! Your linebackers can’t cover anybody anyway so they might as well do something useful like put pressure on the QB. The cornerback’s and safeties get fried all of the time so what is the difference, at least this way you dictate the way the game is going to be played. Turnovers happen because of pressure. Look around the league at the good defenses and good defensive coordinators. Other then the Giants front four who put constant pressure, they all blitz heavily. The Lions, they sit back in that bend but don’t break (although they snap all of the time) defense and pray they can hold the team to a FG, which doesn’t happen and in the meantime the other team has chewed 7 minutes off the clock.

So back to the game. Jon hits Calvin on a brilliant touchdown (Calvin is an unstoppable gazelle) to put the Lions up by one – the first lead of the year for the Lions. The building is going berserk. All of the momentum is with the Lions. Penalty on the kickoff backs GB up to the 10 and you can’t even hear yourself think or talk to the person next to you, and what does the defense do with all this mo and loudness, they allow Jennings to catch a 5 yard pass and run 60 yards down the field – game over, good night now!!!!! Sure blame Jon for his interceptions (and the first one frankly was the worst) but the game ended on that play because it sucked the life out of the Lions and the stadium – the Lions defense gave up the ghost at the most crucial time choking the life out of the team. Season over, good night Lions, we’ll see you in 2009 hopefully with a new defensive coordinator who has heard of a blitz!

Pushers and Cloggers

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 04:49:00 +0000

Now I will admit I was quite sucky at Science at school. I loved math - not so much with science. But as I am middle aged now and have a good track record on this subject, I would love to discuss eating, anatomy (sorta) and pooping. Many of my skinny friends (or those trying to be) decide that shubbery is a good meal for reducing girth, and I suppose it is but it comes at a cost - it is entirely a pusher. Eat salad all day and you have nothing in there to stop you from partaking in number 2 all day long. There are no cloggers in salad, nothing to clog you up. Sure you can put some cheese in salad but it stands no chance against all those pushers. Accordingly, all good, well balanced meals should be a mixture of pushers and cloggers.

So what pretell are pushers v cloggers? Some are easy. Meat - pusher (ever eat at Taco Hell or White Castle - you pretty much need to eat those in the bathroom). Bread - clogger. The aforementioned salad - pusher. Cheese - clogger. There are some foods that are tough to tell but give them a try and see how they work for ya. If you need to take a plunger to your butt you know it was a adequate clogger.

So what is the perfect food?? Experts might say that McDonalds is bad for you but let's take a gander at the Sausage McMuffin with egg. It is the perfect mixture of pushers and cloggers. Eggs and sausage - pushers. Eat them alone and it will be a double flush for sure but alas McDonalds knew that and hence chucked in some cloggers. Cheese and english muffins. Well done McDonalds. They failed on the Big Mac but not from a lack of effort. I am sure when they were making this fine sandwich that after they got the 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, they were like crap (some pun intended) we need to get some cloggers in there so they added two slices of cheese and three buns - three. They were clearly trying but they surely realized their dilemma - it's still pushin. It's still pushin and we really can't add any more buns or people won't be able to shove this lovely into their pieholes. So they went with it. Clearly a good sandwich but bereft of the proper mixture of pushers and cloggers.

So to all my rabbit friends who gnaw on shrubbery all day, have fun with your stool explosions while I sit in comfort in my lazy seat chowing on my well balanced steak (pusher) and mashed potatoes (clogger). Awww it is nice to be so well balanced - give it a try (oh by the way, you might notice a slight to vast augmentation in your girth which is a side effect to a well balanced meal of pushers and cloggers but you can always get a few extra pawl bearers in the future so enjoy).

Christmas in July – Ridiculous

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 02:58:00 +0000

Am I the only person who is absolutely annoyed with the marketing campaign Christmas in July. I turned on the TV this morning and there was a the car salesman dress in a Santa suit standing in front of a Christmas tree raving about his special car he was peddling and how the savings would be like “Christmas in July”. Really!! OK not taking the religious side of Christmas (which of course is the whole reason for the holiday to start with) my Christmas season in Michigan is not typically enjoyed in a bathing suit and flip flops. My winter holiday is coupled with boots, hot chocolate, and snow. As the add continued onward, there was Christmas Music playing in the background. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Who in the hell came up with this marketing campaign. Not much boils my large butt more that this ridiculous marketing campaign. Like fingernails on the chalkboard. I am not sure why it bothers me so much but it does and I find myself swearing at the TV every time I hear such absurdities. And why not June or August? July already has a rather important holiday but both June and August are bereft of any major holidays (yes I know there is Father’s Day but we won’t count that).

The darn fool finished the commercial with a “Ho,Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas (pause) in July.” Freak!!!!!!! Don’t you know how idiotic you look and sound. I do and hence I will never show up to your car dealership and give you a dime of my hard earned money because you will obviously waste the profits on brainless marketing campaigns. So take down your darn Christmas stuff and put that gigantic, balloon filled ape, on the top of your building (which is equally as stupid by the way). Who the heck says, ”Oh my gosh it’s an ape let’s stop and purchase a car.” If someone is that dim-witted they probably shouldn’t be driving anyway – but that is my opinion (and a future blog) and I could be wrong, but I’m not.

Men versus Women – Holy Cow are we Different

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0000

I know they have made games on the subject and songs about opposites attract, but as my wife hosted a jewelry party the other day at my domicile, it reiterated the vast differences between the sexes. Our jewelry party was well attended by female pals of my wife feeling obligated to buy crap they really don’t need and didn’t intend to buy. Two weeks prior, they got the invitation in the mail and assuredly cursed my wife’s name followed by a comment like “crap, now I have to go to another one of those stupid parties and buy something I don’t want because she is my friend.” Of course the invitation says “just come, your presence is all that matters, you don’t have to purchase anything, blah, blah, blah.” Of course everyone knows better, if you don’t purchase anything you feel like a schlep and once you leave, everyone will be talking about you, so you buy crap you don’t want. NEVER, EVER heard of such a party for the guys!!!! Male gatherings involve beer and sports. Very simple and absolutely no obligation ever to buy anything. Can you imagine a guy hosting a Tupperware party? Hey Steve come on over, we are going to have some pops, snacks, and look at some Tupperware, no obligation to buy. Don’t think so!! At Christmas, my wife hosted a church fellowship party at our pad. After the obligatory gift exchange, the ladies gathered in a circle, held hands, and sang Christmas carols. HUH!!! Don’t see a gaggle of dudes doing anything like that, ever, no matter how many beverages we have consumed. I can see the invitation now. Tom come on over for a night of mirth and merriment. We will have some adult beverages, watch the football game and then maybe huddle in a circle and sing carols. Bet I would get a lot of takers for that.

Then the next day at work, more proof. One of my female co-workers decided to trade clothes with one of my other female co-workers. What would possess one to do that. I asked one of my male cohorts if he minded if I borrowed his pants for tomorrow at work. Surprisingly, he was not overly excited about lending his garb. This is not something that would even enter a guys mind.

My wife has said that this is because nothing ever enters our minds. True I am a much simpler person then my wife, but when things don’t make sense, I call it as it is. Having a party that obligates your friends to annex goods that would prefer not to have, makes no sense. Trading clothes, no sense. This of course is just a few simple examples of how the sexes are so different but I suppose that is why we get along so well together – opposite’s do attract, and holy cow are we opposite!!

5 Reasons Brett Favre Needs to Stay Retired (and if not please come here)

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:59:00 +0000

The fans of the NFL, and certainly Green Bay, have heard this story before. He is retired, he is not retired, he is retired again. I am surprised John Madden has not died of a heart attack with all this flip flopping – can’t be good on the old man’s ticker. I have read numerous other blogs coming down on both sides of the ledger. Some support Favre for the icon in Wisconsin and Green Bay that he is. Brett is the Green Bay Packers and if he wants to come back they should part the seas and let him come. Others come down on the side of Green Bay management who gave Brett every opportunity to come back prior to the NFL draft and he still he orated that he was retired and hence the Packers drafted two quarterbacks in case their quarterback of the future, Aaron Rogers, is not that good. The Packer’s brass is in a no win situation. They are assuredly a better team right now with gramps in at quarterback (remember they were one field goal away from advancing to the Super Bowl), however, another lost season for Aaron Rogers and Green Bay may never see if this guy truly has any talent. That said, here are my five reasons for Brett to stay retired.

1) Able to stay at home and collect social security and get discounts at the movies.
2) You are going to have a terrible year anyway as you are on the cover of Madden 2009.
3) My team, Detroit, may finally have a chance to win a game in Wisconsin (probably will still lose because they blow but it is a sure loss if Favre is playing - 0-18 I think is the Lions record in Wisconsin games since Favre has taken over).
4) Kitna needs to remain the best quarterback in NFC Central. The Lions don’t seem to have too many positive things going right now and it would be nice to be the leader in something positive. And before this gets disputed, Rogers is not going to be good yet. Jackson from Minnesota blows and who the heck knows who is starting in Chicago so Kitna wins by default , but wins just the same!
5) Sick of the yahoo behind me at Ford Field yelling “Favre don’t you know how to pronounce your name”, and “Favre sucks”. Yes I know this is a selfish reason but darnit it, this clown is annoying. Plus we are in the upper deck so Brett cannot hear his utterances anyway.

So Brett, can you please, please, please stay retired and give our long suffering Lions fans a chance to actually win the division (yes I am not a dufis, I realize it will take a lot more than that, but we have to start somewhere). That said, if the competitive juices are flowing such that you really feel the need to play another season, could you see to it that you end up in a Lions uniform? You could really stick it to your old team that way! I am sure our kicker, Jason Hanson (who is our best player by the way), would be willing to give up his #4 jersey to make this happen.

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Ugly People

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 21:10:00 +0000

I was just presented with that awkward moment the other day when I was at the mall and saw a friend from a previous job who was walking their newborn in a stroller. As I had not seen her in a few years we were somewhat excited to see each other but I was also dreading it too. A couple of weeks back, I had received a correspondence from my friend which was coupled with a picture of what I believe was their baby son. To say he is not an attractive child is quite the understatement but now I was faced with Quasimodo in person. I wasn’t sure if staring directly at him would turn me to stone but I didn’t know how to avoid it and pulling out a mirror would have been awkward so I ventured forth. As incipiently forecasted, he is an ugly child for sure. Yes I know that is rude, insensitive, judgmental, shallow, and absolutely not this young newborns fault but you have to call it like you see it. Of course, I commented to her that her son was an adorable child just like the rest of her litter.

The fault here lies with the parents. They have had four other kids (three boys and one girl) and they are all scary beyond all reason too. The parents are exceedingly unattractive also so it stands to reason (and has been proven out over 5 kids) that their offshoots will, in kind, be unsightly. And then when these kids grow up, they will spawn ugly kids, and the cycle will continue. Therefore, the simple and only plausible solution is for these people to quit having kids! Why are all the unattractive people of the world procreating at a faster rate then the attractive ones? Can’t we as a society establish a law prohibiting excessive ugly people from procreating? We are forced to protect ourselves from ourselves with such laws as seat belt laws, helmet laws, excessive taxes and restrictions on smokers (all of which I agree with by the way) so this seems like a plausible thing for us to mandate since the parents obviously can’t seem to realize the error of their ways! I did, two homely kids later and I knew it was time to quit, why can’t others! Come on people do your part, all kids are not beautiful. Bringing them into this world is a beautiful and amazing thing but remember that they do grow up and thus do them, and society, a favor and “Just Say No”.

Garage Sales – Why Does Anyone Want My Junk?

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:19:00 +0000

I know there are people who get excited about having or visiting garage sales. The host inevitably thinks they are going to make an abundance of money peddling things that are no longer wanted in their domicile. Those annexing these discarded treasures mirthfully run from garage sale to garage sale trying to find a steal (what a great way to spend a weekend day).

The host inevitably feels that the value of their personal trumpery is worth more than should be posted on the price tag – ‘well it cost me $25 three years ago so it has to be worth $10 now”. Whereas the garage sale patron will barter and haggle and lose a deal over a quarter. Shouldn’t you feel like a dufis if something is marked at a quarter and you feel the need to haggle it for a dime – it’s a quarter for crying out loud, just pay it!!!!!

The host of the garage sale are stalkers and prognosticators, they remind me of a furniture salesman. The moment a car drives up, they are eyeing them and internally placing odds as to whether they are going to purchase anything. Old car, no teeth this patron is not going to yield anything, let the kids stalk them. As the purchaser, if you are going to take the time to waddle out of the car, you have to buy something, that should be a rule. Drop a quarter on the kids peddling a doll if you need to but you have to buy something otherwise don’t bedevil the hosts by getting out of the car. Failure to purchase something will assuredly cause ridicule from the seller once you have sauntered back to your vehicle.

At the end of the garage sale, the seller is always befuddled about the items that didn’t sell. “I can’t believe that no one bought this shirt.” They are almost hurt and offended that someone didn’t want their junk when of course the seller no longer wanted this refuse either, that is why it was for sale to start with! Of course for a purchaser why aren’t you buying this nicer stuff anyway?? I know the saying “some people’s trash is other people’s treasures” but if you are not even purchasing the nicer stuff at a garage sale and instead are looking at the items for a dollar or less, chances are pretty darn fine that you too are getting just that, OPT (other peoples trash) – so Opt for the nicer things at a garage sale, you are still getting a great bargain for sure!

If you haven’t noticed, I am not a big fan of Garage Sales. Personally, I always feel as though I am begging for money by having them. In reality, my least favorite part of the whole event is when it is all done and you still have a ton of drivel sitting in your garage and now have to take it back in the house and save for the next garage sale (where, of course, it will not sell because it is garbage). Worse yet, you have already filled the space of the item you are bringing back in with something else so now you have no room for this debris. This year I vow to not bringing anything back in, it all goes to Purple Heart, I am going to break this annual cycle of a garage sale once and for all!

Why Are There So Many Foreclosures in My Neighborhood? - 7 Simple Reasons, No Good Solutions

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 03:25:00 +0000

As someone who is involved in the Banking industry, and someone who has seen and made loans that have not always performed as agreed, people have asked for my opinion on what ales the nationwide real estate market and whether it has hit rock bottom. The latter question is easy to tackle and that is no, absolutely not! Not trying to be an alarmist but a realist. Things will get worse, and in some states much worse, before they get better. I live in Michigan so I will factor my reasons for the significant rise in foreclosures and delinquencies to local factors which will be applicable to many states. For a while, Michigan led the nation in foreclosure rates. We have since been passed by Florida, California, and Arizona for the dubious award of having the most foreclosures. So what has caused it, here are a few reasons:

1) Unrealistic loan products – Because borrowers historically never let their homes go into foreclosure, Bank’s significantly relented on the underwriting standards with larger institutions offering loan products up to 120% of the home value in a loan, stated income products, requiring interest only payments, ARMS with escalating rates, etc. If you had a pulse, you got a mortgage. I personally have good credit and could have qualified for any mortgage product I wanted two years ago by stating my income on an application at whatever I needed for approval. Why was there ever a product which did not require me to support my income with pay stubs or bank statements? Why was there ever a product made where you didn’t have to put some money into the deal. When I bought a house I had to have 20% in. Why were the Bank’s and Mortgage companies taking on all of the risk? The idea of a loan is to be a partner but the homebuyers had no skin in the game. They had no equity so it did not hurt to walk away. Not everyone deserves a home, that is why they have apartments.

2) Overnight Mortgage Companies – Because the profits were so huge for years, mortgage companies were springing up over night and mortgage hacks were born. People that did not understand mortgages were now underwriting them, bundling them off, and selling them for nice profits to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. These companies have since folded up tent and have probably moved on to the collection / foreclosure business.

3) Commissioned Lenders / Underwriters – While the theory of a commissioned lender makes perfect sense, you only get paid for mortgages that get funded, that causes desperate or greedy people to do untoward activities. This causes a “Used Car Salesman” mentality of selling the mortgage at all cost. Never mind what is best for the borrower/purchaser or for the lending institution, sell the mortgage, make your cut, and move on. Many institutions paid bogies to underwriters based upon loans closed too. This is problematic as it takes the checks and balances out of the process and could easily allow information to be hidden or altered.

4) Fraud – This is fraud at all levels through the process.
a) Application fraud such as falsifying the information on the application (overstating income or assets), or making up fake tax returns (which is simple to do now days with all of these tax programs).
b) Underwriting Fraud – explained in #3 above. Commissioned lenders / underwriters cutting corners to get deals done and hence earn a commission.
c) Appraisal Fraud – appraisers stretching values to make sure that the home values come in where it needs to in order to make a deal happen. Why would they do this? Because if the values are consistently too low, a lending institution would not use this appraisal firm anymore but rather would go up the street to an appraiser who would give the values needed.
d) Credit Fraud – There are firms that you can find on the internet or in the phonebook who are established to fix or scrub credit (for a cost). Thus a Borrower who had bad credit yesterday could have good credit today and hence qualify for a loan that they otherwise might not.

5) Loss of Jobs / Downsizing – This is a huge culprit in Michigan who’s economy is staked to the once big three automotive firms. People who are use to making six figure incomes and who based their home buying on said income are in peril with a reduction of hours or losses of jobs altogether.

6) Increase cost of everything – Gas, groceries, clothing. Everything has gone up significantly in cost without a commiserate increase in earnings. Accordingly, people’s disposable cash flow is weakened and getting weaker.

7) Loss of Negative Stigmatism Associated with Bankruptcy / Foreclosure – There once was a time when having poor credit, filing bankruptcy, or losing your home to foreclosure was almost like walking around with a scarlet “A” on your chest. It use to be very hard to get credit again after these negative events. Nowadays that is clearly not the case.

Certainly there are many other factors that have led to the demise of the home mortgage industry – this is just a few that I usually point to. I am also asked if there is a good avenue to find out about foreclosed houses in your market to find some great deals for purchase. The best options are to call your local banks and mortgage companies and ask for the ORE (Other Real Estate) Department or I have used the attached site which is a wonderful reference of properties for sale in the market (https://paydotcom.com/r/12161/dvowler/19170267/).

The only way for the real estate market to head back in the right direction is for houses to start selling and while these will be at a discounted price, at least assets will be moving. This will eventually cause there to be less houses for sale on the market and as that happens eventually the house values will start to inch back up in value (supply and demand). Not going to happen overnight unfortunately.

Kevin Jones is Ready to Roll (and run)

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 01:13:00 +0000

Give him the ball and a very nice contract. For 2/3 of the team's in the NFL, Kevin Jones, former Detroit Lions runningback and first round draft choice from Virginia Tech, would be the starting tailback. Today in a suburb of Detroit he had an open audition to show his wares and he did shine. He cut and dashed and proved to anyone who needed to know that he is well ahead of schedule on his recovery from his December knee surgery. My eyes witnessed an athlete with no restrictions or limitations on what he could do. If training camp were to start to day, he would be ready to go. As I intonated in an antecedent blog, the Lions have made a big mistake giving up on KJ too early but their dufis mistake will be a great steal for another team. I am sure the video of his workout will be out on YouTube so check it out. Good luck KJ.

LIST OF 12 PEOPLE THAT WE ALL HATE

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:02:00 +0000

In today’s society, I think we will all admit that our congeniality towards our fellow human is often not where it should be. Too often there is road rage or shouting and arguing towards our fellow Earth mates. However, with that said, here is a list of the top 12 people we all hate. If you know or see one of these people, slap them very hard immediately. If you are one of these people, stop it all already for crying out loud, you are a butthead.

1) Drive up to front of long line and then cut you off guy – Why is your time more important than mine. Get your butt in line like everyone else. It should be legal for every car that was previously waiting to take a turn and smash this dude!

2) Cell phone in a movie guy – Let’s see, they tell you before the movie starts, you have been to the movies before, what part of turn your cell phone off don’t you understand. If you are that stupid, please just stay at home and rent a movie where you can be on the cell phone all movie long if you like.

3) Guy with more items at the cash register then the “6 items max” – Moron it is not around 6, it is 6 items MAX. 12 is not close enough. I wish just once the cashier would say “excuse me dufis but what six items here are you getting.”

4) Guy who takes your parking lot space after you have been sitting there with the turn signal on for 5 minutes – Dude, I know you saw my signal and you know this is my spot, get out of that car and you will be keyed for sure.

5) Guy who whistles or hums as they walk – While nice that you are in such a gleeful mood, keep your sounds inside of you. Unless you coach sports or are a little girl, there is no reason to whistle or hum!

6) Guy who chews with their mouth open while eating – Shut your trapper when eating. I saw what you were eating before you chucked it in your mouth, I don’t have to see you try to digest it. Scratching on a chalk board sounds better than someone who smacks when they eat!

7) Guy who licks their fingers to the bone while eating – I don’t want to hear you slurping your B’Bque ribs over your grubby fingers. Last I checked we were a civilized society. Use a napkin like everyone around you, you freak.

8) Fat guy who takes up more then one seat on an airplane but won’t buy two – I would prefer not to sit on your lap thank you and if I am going to, I darn well better be paid for a lap dance. Either mix in a salad every one in a while or buy two seats, your call.

9) Guy that shouts obscenities from the upper deck at a sports stadium – Um the players can’t hear you. In fact the only people that can hear you sit right by you and we all think you are an a..hole.

10) Grocery cart guy who is too lazy to walk the 20 feet to a cart stall – Instead this lazy butt perches the cart on the nearest curb and drives away quickly so the cart won’t hit their car but rather the next one that arrives - lazy, inconsiderate terd.

11) Guy at Fast Food restaurant taking order for their whole office - And of course this is the most complicated order possible. Hold the ketchup, no lettuce, this one toasted. It is fast food for a reason. When you are behind one guy in line you expect it to move quickly. Tell your lazy friends to come join you for lunch or call ahead.

12) Motorcycle guy who drives down the middle of the white line between cars - Wouldn’t it be great if someone would thrust with all might their door open with perfect timing as to send the motorcyclist flying. Of course some how in our soft society, the car driver would get sued but boy would that be fun to watch!

Latrine Lackey Does Not Merit Tipping

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:22:00 +0000

So here I was last night dining on a fine slab a cow and washing it down with a few adult beverages, when it became time to use the facilities. I was treating myself to a more upscale eatery because I had a good month on the job. As I entered the commode, I was greeted from a finely dressed gent who mentioned he was here to assist me and if I needed any assistance to let him know. Now this is not the first time I have been greeted in the lavatory in such a manner but it got me to thinking, what in the heck do I need with a latrine lackey. “No thanks,” I said, “I have been doing this a long time now and I am quite good at it.” I know in this tight economy we all need a little extra cash but what the heck would ever possess one to apply for this job? And why did anyone ever deem that this was a service that I needed. Are there people dining in fancy restaurants that are having trouble going to the bathroom, washing their hands, and then drying them afterwards? Yes I know that there is a large population of people that don’t wash their hoofs after using the facilities, this would merit a whole separate discussion, but this is not my point here! Get out of the bathroom and please let me do my business myself thank you. So upon completion, and after I said I did not need his exemplary services, he preceded to turn on the water for me and then offered me a towel to dry my hands. Of course this unsolicited assistance was deemed to merit a gratuitous tip which I was not disposed to part with – so I didn’t and this was followed with a comment about my dearth of tipping. I informed the fine gent that I am a very good tipper for a service that is warranted and frankly asked for. The turning on of the water and giving me a towel, while very kind, in no fashion constituted a cause for a tip other then maybe a verbal one to get a real job! How do you apply for a job like this? What is your title? And honestly, who is the imbecile that determined that this service was needed?

Later in the evening, I needed to use the facilities again but I decided to hold it in until I could find a commode that was bereft of happy helpers. I mirthfully tipped 20% to the waitress who did a fantastic job and used the McDonalds down the street where I peacefully went to the bathroom all by myself.

SICK OF SAWING LOGS ALL NIGHT? STOP YOUR SNORING NATURALLY – CHECK IT OUT WITH THIS SIMPLE, INEXPENSIVE SOLUTION

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:56:00 +0000

Embarrassing. I am a prideful person and a carrying husband. However, when it comes to sleep I saw logs that would make a lumberjack proud and often times I wake my wife up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I snore so loud, I wake myself up. If I go to bed before my wife, she will not be able to get to sleep so I stay up way too late to make sure she gets to sleep before me. I am always tired the next day. More often then not, we don’t go to bed at the same time anymore which is no fun at all. I will not travel with my friends and stay in the same room for I know that my nightly cattle call will keep them up all night and thus I will have a dearth of friends. I actually turned down a golf outing and camping trip because the gaggle wanted to stay in one tent. I was embarrassed for sure. I have tried nose strips and over the counter solutions that say they stop snoring – no luck for me! Surgery is too expensive and a breathing machine (CPAP) will assuredly work but I don’t want to be hooked up to a machine every night. Does this sound familiar?

A good friend of mine inquired why I had been so tired so I shared that I just get too little sleep because of my snoring issues so he suggested that I gander the book Stop Your Snoring Naturally (here is the link) https://paydotcom.com/r/18008/dvowler/18611398/

He says that the information in the book has done wonders for him and I am hoping for the same results for me. As the site intonates, “You Spend Over A 1/3 of Your Life Sleeping, Shouldn't You Get The Most From It?” Amen!!

Here are Five Key Benefits from No Longer Snoring:
1) Say "Goodbye" to sleepless nights where you're constantly woken up by your partner in the middle of the night!
2) Travel without worry! Ever traveled with a friend and got a separate hotel room just because you know you snore too loud, I know I have.
3) Wake up feeling energized, healthy and ready to take on the day! No longer will you start wearing down in the afternoon because of a dearth of sleep. You will be refreshed throughout the day.
4) Sleep apnea can be the cause of your high blood pressure and your doctor would never know!
5) Go to bed at the same time as your spouse without fear of you falling asleep before they do and thus keeping them up all night!

https://paydotcom.com/r/18008/dvowler/18611398/

America’s Got Talent is a Perfect Forum for the Weirdo’s to Flock

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:13:00 +0000

As my daughters and I sat and watched another episode of what I think is a very entertaining reality TV show, America’s Got Talent, it became crystal clear to my offspring something I have orated for quite some time, there are a lot of weird people in this world. How the heck can you be that strange. Look around you people, not everyone is acting or looking as bizarre as you are. Goodness look in the mirror. Now I understand that for some of these people they are seeking their 15 minutes of fame but why do you want it to be with everyone laughing at you, have some pride for crying out loud. Hey what are you dressed as a fairy for, look around, do you see anyone else dressed like that, and then you cannot even sing for Pete’s sake. You know you have no chance of advancing freak show so take your act to the circus where you can get your 15 minutes of fame there. Far too many weird, odd, strange people. For those who haven’t started watching the show yet, tune-in in about 2 weeks and you will see what the show is about, which is a medium for some ultra gifted individuals to bare their talents.

Fix My Golf Swing that Went Astray

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:34:00 +0000

I was golfing with a good friend of mine the other day, and I noticed that as we get older (and fatter), our personal golf swings continue to get uglier and uglier and unfortunately our scores get higher and higher. Our swings are not Charles Barkley ugly but still not fluid just the same. I have always considered myself fairly athletic, not great at any sport, but fairly good at most and especially those that I participate in frequently. And being older now, my football playing days are done and my ankles don't do well playing hoops so I now focus my sports playing on tennis and mostly golf. My friend and I commented the other day that one of the frustrating aspects of golf is that we have played too long to be this bad. I used to be a better golf 10 years ago despite playing more now. Since that time, I have obtained some of the best equipment on the market, purchased golf videos to see what the pros are doing, read Golf Digest for many helpful tips, got some neat advice from very low handicap golfers who I have played with, and even took private lesions, and yet I am getting worse. I now know the reason, everyone tells you something different so you stand over the shot thinking about six ways to execute it, and my swing always pulls the seventh which usually results in a bladed wedge that rolls across the green. I am sure this sounds familiar to many, many golfers.

Don't get me wrong, I love the game and still execute enough shots well to keep me coming back for more but I expect to do more, and I use to do more. Another pal of mine who was a terrible golfer a few years back (110 was a typical score) now shoots in the high 80's. Granted he plays a lot more then he use to but he also says he plays a lot more because he is shooting much better. He attributes his lower scores to some new irons he purchased and BioSwing Golf which taught him the correct way to grip and swing for him. I told this to my other robust friend and he went out and purchased it too and since it has a 60 day trial I did the same (I have attached a link to BioSwing Golf on my blogger page). I know this will Fix My Golf Swing that Went Astray.

BIVO

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Time to Ban Grunting from Wimbledon

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:19:00 +0000

I have always been a big tennis fan. I played in high school on the tennis team and even more in college. It is a very underrated sport I think. I will admit that I used to watch tennis more often on TV than I do today (and it is a shame too because the women today are very attractive). Gone are the days of long volleys and baseline play, especially on the guys side of the draw. But I could live with that, and would still watch. What I can’t live with is the outrageously loud grunting that is allowed during play. I know darn well you can hit a tennis ball hard without grunting. Rackets are lighter so it is not like you are wielding a heavy object that takes Herculean strength to brandish. Baseball players swing hard and pitchers throw awful hard, never heard ‘em grunt. Tiger Woods swings his sticks with a ton of force – again no grunting (although he was wincing in pain). I grunt like that when I walk but that is because I am fat, these guys and gals are in perfect condition and have no reason at all, whatsoever, to grunt other than to distract the opponent and make the sport absolutely unwatchable on TV without the mute button (which is a shame because then you miss the witty commentary of John McEnroe) .

Now I know I am not breaking new ground here but some new ground or turf does need to be broken. Would it not be great to see them ban grunting at Wimbledon for the nationally televised games. New rule, you can’t play on center court if you are going to sound like an elephant in heat. Seems like a good rule to me, but what do I know.

High School Graduation Paties over-hyped

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:07:00 +0000

BIVO Blogger Is it just me or are High School Graduations too lauded. Big parties, fancy dress, checks for the happy grad which they will spend on beer. Is graduating from High School such an accomplishment? Really don't you just have to show up to school and put some modicum of effort into school to graduate. I know there are school districts in the country where getting through High School is an accomplishment. OK in those cases let's throw a bash and award the Grad with gifts but Canton is not one of those such districts nor where I graduated from Livonia one of those either. Everyone graduated so what is the reason for such lofty praises sent my way. I felt it was a much larger accomplishment when I graduated from college. There you had to actually study, balance a successful partying campaign, adapt to roommates, and learn how to live on your own. Rarely do you see College Graduation parties.

And yes it could be said that the graduate needs the checks and money for their future endeavor into college or whatever else live brings them. Can't the same be said for college grads. I know I was awful poor when I left college and no one threw me a party to give me money so I could buy beer.... Maybe I am disgruntled because I have to head to my third high school graduation party this weekend, ugh!

Rabbits make great household pets

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:13:00 +0000

While it is true that a rabbit is devoid of fetching skills and has a dearth of abilities when it comes to catching other critters such as a mouse or birds, they make very nice, peaceful household pets. Our little Holland lop ear bunny has been potty trained since day 2 at the homestead (day 1 was kinda ugly with little droppings everywhere). When we are home, he enjoys our company in the family room running while hoping around the room mirthfully playing with his box and a few chew toys. And yes he does not cuddle to the extent of a dog (which I do love very much too by the way) he constantly comes over seeking attention and giving you lovin' back.

Moreover, rabbits don't need to wake you up at 6:00 in the morning to let them out to do their business nor do they bark and wake up all the neighbors. In fact they make no noise at all. They also don't have cat eyes which are quite scary and always seem to be scheming something. Rabbits have very cute eyes. Sure dogs and cats are great household pets too, but don't forget about the rabbits, they make great inside pets, especially for families with young kids.

Kevin Jones should still be a Detroit Lion

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:57:00 +0000

Yes I know Kevin Jones is coming off a major knee injury, and the year before that a foot injury but the Detroit Lions gave up on KJ too early. He is only a few years removed from being the best runningback in the NFL for the second half of his rookie football season and a first round draft choice from VT made by my beloved, but god-awful Lions. And I also know they did not want to pay him over $2MM for 2008 but come on guys, I think you need a runningback and he is significantly better then what we currently have here in Motown. What's worse, he had the attitude that mirrors Marinelli and has an offense that will now focus on a balanced attack (novel thought).

As it should be expected given his history from the foot injury, KJ is healing well ahead of schedule and is ready to go now which is still quite miraculous given the extent of his knee injury (the Lions said he would be out all year). This is a testament to the dedication and work ethic of KJ. I have seen film recently of Kevin working out, running, and cutting, and the knee seems as advertised - ready to go! KJ will quite possibly sign with the Packers or Bears and of course cause significant nightmares for the vaunted defense of the Lions in the upcoming campaign.Good luck Kevin with your public workout next Saturday and best of luck with the new squad you land on here in the next month. Maybe the Lions will wise up, realize their error in their ways, a figure out a way to bring you back here where you belong.

Bryan Adams - Under-rated artist in US

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:24:00 +0000

True most people know a song or two from Bryan Adams. Probably could bellow the themes to Everything I Do..., Summer of '69, Heaven but most people don't realize just how many hit tunes Mr. Adams has sang. I read somewhere that he had 18 top 25 hit singles and 10 top 10 singles. He just came out with his eleventh album full of new songs (named 11). Most people in the United States would have no idea of this as he can't seem to get a recording studio to support him in the US anymore.

If anyone has seen him in concert, he puts on a wonderful show. He seems to be a normal, down to earth guy that seems to do things the right way. So does his band that has been very loyal to him over the years. He dresses like your everyday man and frankly sings like it too. He gives a ton of money to various charities and causes throughout the world. He has published books on photography with a portion of the proceeds going to breast cancer. He writes songs for numerous artists and has coupled with all of the big pop singers to sing duets. So why isn't he lauded like some of the other singers of his era who have not had nearly the success or staying power that he has had. The rest of the world seems to know and still care about Adams - why not the US.

OK if none of the above has convinced you that Bryan needs to be acknowledged for all he has accomplished, he has recently dated Bond girl Caterina Murino and is currently back to dating Elle McPherson, enough said!

5 C's of Commercial Lending

noreply@blogger.com (BIVO) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 01:14:00 +0000

I have often been asked over the years what I look for when analyzing a commercial loan. While all commercial loans are not the same and certainly there is no magic box to decide the fate of a commercial loan, there are some very easy secrets that all commercial lenders and credit analysts look for to determine the credit worthiness of a Borrower. One such method, and a great starting point, is known as the 5 C's of Commercial Lending.

1) CASH FLOW - This is the most important of the 5 C's as that is how my loan is going to be repaid. Historical cash flow is a good indicator of future cash flow just as the history of anything is a good indicator of any future event. My Detroit Lions are historically a bad team and indications are that they will be bad in the future. A company that has historically struggled in cash flow often will struggle in the future as that may be an indicator of miss-management, lack of desire for a product, or an excessive amount of fixed expenses to name a few. Conversely, strong historical operations often, but not always, bodes well for future earnings. Simple cash flow is often calculated as: Net Income + Depreciation + Amortization + Interest Expense divided by 12 months of loan payments on the subject loan plus any other debt obligations of the company. The rule of thumb is that this ratio should be 1.20 times or greater.

2) CHARACTER - Many banks may have this ranked in a different spot, I have always felt this was the second most important "C" and in some cases equally as important as Cash Flow. Character represents the strength, ability and desire of a Guarantor to support the debt if called upon to do so. Credit history of a Guarantor, like historical cash flow noted above, is a good indicator of a Guarantors propensity to pay. A loan team will look at assets and liabilities of a Guarantor exclusive of the subject loan. Moreover, Guarantor's personal cash flow exclusive of the income derived from the subject business is analyzed. These three factors: Credit History, Personal Assets, and Personal Cash Flow are essential facets in determining the character of a Guarantor.

3) COLLATERAL - In event of default, collateral is often times the only way a bank can recover some or all of the loan proceeds and hence is usually the secondary source of repayment on a loan (cash flow is first). Collateral can comprise a myriad of item such as cash (my favorite), various forms of real estate and land, assets of a company such as accounts receivables, inventory, equipment, vehicles, and many, many other choices. Other than cash, banks will margin the amount that they will lend on a type of collateral. For example: for a commercial apartment complex the b ank may lend 75% of the value versus 50% of the value of inventory. This is the hedge in case the loan goes sideways that may allow the bank to recover most, and hopefully all, of the principal outstanding on the loan.

4) CAPITAL - A bank is a partner in an endeavor with a borrower. The loan officer wants to make sure that a borrower has some skin in the game so as to lose something if they walk away from the loan. Capital is the amount of equity or money that is put into a transaction or has been built up by a company through historical profits (retained earnings). The amount of equity in or necessary retained earnings differs based upon the type of commercial real estate, the situation in the market (today you need more equity in), or the type company you are lending to. No magic secrets here but a bank should not have to take on all of the risk. Look at the mortgage industry today to see what happens when the Borrowers take no risk - they easily can walk away from their house and not lose their down payment, because they never had one!

5) CONDITIONS - This "C" is usually such things as competition, management succession, and most importantly today market conditions which you lend in. Some lenders can easily remember to the turning of the century and all concerns over whether businesses were Y2K ready from their computer and operational standpoint. Certain companies were deemed to be more susceptible to Y2K concerns than others. In today's market, certain businesses or real estate are more likely to experience cash flow concerns or failures than others. In my market, companies tied to the automotive operations, or Tier 1 suppliers, will likely experience cash flow concerns and hence should be evaluated tougher when analyzing the credit worthiness of a Borrower.

As noted heretofore, commercial lending is not done in a box and is not an exact science. Much goes into determining whether a Borrower is credit worthy. Different banks have different criteria but all commercial banks use the 5 C's of Commercial Lending as a tool to assist with that process.